Monthly Archives: September 2015

Sitting at my Desk with Tears in my Eyes

As my youngest heads off to Kindergarten in the morning, here’s a look back at the day big sister made the walk…

Oh my. It really is as hard as they say it will be. I tried to prepare myself. I tried to savor the last few days but here I sit in the rubble of my office sniffing with a box of Kleenex close at hand. My little girl is officially off to Kindergarten today. Today.

As the piles around my office will attest, my focus has been on treasuring the last few days with my sweet girl. We went back to school shopping and found a fabulous sparkly skirt with a matching glitter covered horse for the first day of school, sniffed some perfume for a touch of fancy, dined together and went to see her first big girl movie, Brave. What an perfect movie pic for this mother facing Kindergarten launch sooner than she’s ready. ¬†Another day yesterday filled with State Fair fun, hugs, kisses and denial that the dawn would bring a major change for our family.

The sun could not be stopped though and this morning, Daddy, little brother and I walked her across the street to school. She was giddy, prancing like a pony, about to be set free. A smile on her face containing more excitement than a million dollar lottery ticket holder. Her Mama’s heart though was full of many emotions. I was excited for her as well to have reached this major milestone. Sad for the time lost with her lounging in the morning connecting. Excited to have some one-on-one time with her little brother to connect with him more. Nervous for the friends she will make and hope that she’ll make good ones. Cautious, as a veteran elementary teacher, and knowing the challenges that come with the job. Happy to be part of a new community full of possibilities. Most of all I summon feelings of bravery willing them to the surface to ripple over me in waves readying me. ¬†Knowing that many others have traveled this path before and many others will follow in my footsteps.

One of the toughest parts of parenting is learning to let your children go. To give them their wings and freedom to explore the world. As much as we want to envelope our children in our embrace and promise them that no harm will ever come to them, we know that is not reality. Life will lead them to times of great joy and great sadness. Our job is to nudge them out of the nest from time to time to strengthen their wings so one day they will fly high and make positive changes in the world in their own way.

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